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My response to one pastor's "Reasons Why Masturbation is Not the Will of God."

I have never had the privilege of meeting the pastor who wrote this list, but I can already tell you that I love that he is fighting for the purity of Christian men. He is up front in this battle for sexual purity with men and I applaud him for it.

I disagree with him on some points but the vision and overall battle is the same … I must remind everyone that we are on the same side, we serve the same Lord, we are in the same army and we fight against the same enemy.

I have some responses to his paper on “Reasons Why Masturbation is Not the Will of God.” Of course, this topic is usually the one most Christians disagree on because the Bible does not address it and most men do it … that always presents a problem. I must also remind you that I don’t thing that anybody should get real dogmatic that “their” way of thinking is the “right” way of thinking about this issue. The only things we can be sure of and dogmatic about are the things that scripture address clearly.

With that said I will address the issue of masturbation. The most common problem we have in talking about masturbation is that the term usually brings up a strong emotional response and images because of our own masturbation. It is difficult to separate our thoughts and our past actions and emotions. Another problem is that it is very difficult for most of us to separate the lust from the masturbation while we think and talk about it. Most people just keep on thinking that the two go together. (I almost said that the two go hand in hand.)

My major point about masturbation is that it is a symptom … not the core issue. Most of the Christian writing and thinking about masturbation that I have seen is treating it as the issue rather than the symptom. We tend to treat the symptom, talk about the symptom, and try to use self-discipline on the symptom, focus on the symptom, put lots of effort on this symptom and not the core problem. In my view, the core issue is lust, and if you deal with the lust in the power of Jesus, the symptom (masturbation) is a lot easier to deal with … and that is probably why the principles in the Dangerous Men book has had phenomenal success in helping men stop or get control of their masturbation. Lust is the issue … not masturbation.

Another thing to remember is that I know that masturbation can be done without lustful thoughts … and that is a method that I suggest to men who are learning to stop this controlling habit. So you will just have to read the Dangerous Men book to see what I really say about it.

I thought it would be fun to answer his list of reasons why masturbation is wrong (because I am sure he is thinking only about it with lustful thoughts) from a different perspective completely.

If lust is the issue and the sin, then if we completely take out the sinful, lustful thoughts when we masturbate, is it still wrong? I am going to respond to his list of reasons with the thinking that lust is the issue and the core of the problem, masturbation is only the symptom.

My thoughts are in bold to his points.

1. He says “Secrecy and Shame. Masturbation is done in private and in secret. It is shame producing to the masturbator. Anything that must be done in secret and produces shame is not the will of God. God intended sex to be a private practice done within the sanctity of marriage. He never intended sex to be a shame producing behavior. (Genesis 2:25)

   Without lust masturbation is not shameful, especially if you do not assume that it is wrong. Yes, masturbation is done in private, so is sex with your wife, and if you had sex with your wife in public that would also be shame producing. I know many men who are accountable for all parts of their sexual life and talk about the masturbation without lust to their fighting partners. This makes it not a secret (although still done in private) and not shameful because they believe it is not wrong without lust.

2. The Majority is Wrong. Popularity or high percentages don’t equate to the will of God. The fact that a large percentage of people are practicing masturbation doesn’t make it right. Jesus said that a high percentage of human beings are on the broad road to destruction and that small percentage enter through the small gate to walk on the narrow way. The majority isn’t always right.

   I agree with this totally.

3. Biblical principles are compelling. Like many contemporary issues (marijuana, crack cocaine addiction, caffeine addiction, etc.) masturbation is not specifically mentioned in the Bible. Does an argument from silence, however, mean that God has provided no guidance and has no opinion on the issue? Hardly. Where scripture does not mention specific contemporary issues, good hermeneutics compel Christians to turn to the principles given in scripture which underlie our moral values and behaviors.

   One major problem with this thought, it assumes that masturbation is a contemporary issue like marijuana and crack. What? You don’t think they masturbated when Jesus was on earth? Since I think they did, and Jesus and the writers of the New Testament knew about it, that seems to make the point that they did not just forget to mention that it was wrong. They talked about sex with animals, incest, sex outside of marriage when you are married to someone else, sex before marriage and homosexual sex. I don’t think it just slipped their minds, I think that they did not say it was wrong because it was not wrong in and of itself.

4. It is Rooted in Lust. Masturbation is a behavior rooted in lustful thinking. Men and women don’t masturbate in a vacuum. All masturbations are thinking about something. Typically masturbatators are visualizing either pornography viewed in the past or sexual encounter with women or men. The Bible consistently condemns such thinking as lust (Matt 5:27, 28, Romans 1:24)

   Right on … lust is a sin and if you masturbate with lust in your mind it is wrong. We don’t masturbate in a vacuum and what we think about is very important. So again, I am agreeing but it does not have to be rooted in lust … that is just the way we are used to thinking about it … you can change the way you think about it and change what you think about while doing it. So according to this logic, if it is not rooted in lust it is not wrong?

5. Our Bodies Don’t belong To Us. If we are married, our bodies don’t belong to us to do with as we please. Our bodies were bought by the Lord Jesus Christ and belong to Him or to our wives. They don’t belong to us. (1 Cor 7:4)

   Totally agree again.

6. It is either adultery or fornication. Adultery is defined as having sex while married with someone other than one’s spouse. Fornication is sex between unmarried people. Masturbation is self-sex, because the masturbator is having sex with himself rather than his spouse he is committing adultery with himself. All forms of adultery and fornication are sinful. (Hebrews 13:4)

   This either/or statement is not true. It does not have to one or the other, it can be not either. Masturbation, in this sense of the word is not having sex with yourself, I don’t think that is possible. It is stimulating your self but sex with yourself? I don’t think so.

7. It renders us unclean. Masturbation involves the discharge of seminal fluid. From the Mosaic Law to discharge semen is to render oneself unclean before God and unfit for worship. (Leviticus 15:16)

   This point is, in my opinion, the weakest point. Since Jesus, we have not been under the Mosaic Law so this just does not apply. But even if it did, then you would have to take the whole law. It says that you are “unclean” if you have sex with your wife, if you have any bodily discharge, i.e. when a woman has her menstrual period, etc. Does that mean that all those things are sins? God help us all if they are. Here is the text from Leviticus 15.

   Discharges Causing Uncleanness

   ¹ "The LORD said to Moses and Aaron,
   ² "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'When any man has a bodily discharge, the discharge is unclean.
   ³ Whether it continues flowing from his body or is blocked, it will make him unclean. This is how his discharge will bring about uncleanness:
   ⁴ " 'Any bed the man with a discharge lies on will be unclean, and anything he sits on will be unclean.
   ⁵ Anyone who touches his bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ⁶ Whoever sits on anything that the man with a discharge sat on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ⁷ " 'Whoever touches the man who has a discharge must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ⁸ " 'If the man with the discharge spits on someone who is clean, that person must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ⁹ " 'Everything the man sits on when riding will be unclean,
   ¹⁰ and whoever touches any of the things that were under him will be unclean till evening; whoever picks up those things must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ¹¹ " 'Anyone the man with a discharge touches without rinsing his hands with water must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ¹² " 'A clay pot that the man touches must be broken, and any wooden article is to be rinsed with water.
   ¹³ " 'When a man is cleansed from his discharge, he is to count off seven days for his ceremonial cleansing; he must wash his clothes and bathe himself with fresh water, and he will be clean.
   ¹⁴ On the eighth day he must take two doves or two young pigeons and come before the LORD to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and give them to the priest.
   ¹⁵ The priest is to sacrifice them, the one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. In this way he will make atonement before the LORD for the man because of his discharge.
   ¹⁶ " 'When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ¹⁷ Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening.
   ¹⁸ When a man lies with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.
   ¹⁹ " 'When a woman has her regular flow of blood, the impurity of her monthly period will last seven days, and anyone who touches her will be unclean till evening.
   ²⁰ " 'Anything she lies on during her period will be unclean, and anything she sits on will be unclean.
   ²¹ Whoever touches her bed must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ²² Whoever touches anything she sits on must wash his clothes and bathe with water, and he will be unclean till evening.
   ²³ Whether it is the bed or anything she was sitting on, when anyone touches it, he will be unclean till evening.

   There are a lot more things that make a person unclean in the Mosiac Law so you can read much more in other chapters if you are interested. So what is the point about masturbation … I don’t quite know.

8. Sex was designed to bond husbands and wives. The Biblical teaching is that all sexual intercourse (including emission of semen) is to be between a husband and wife within the committed relationship of marriage. Sex bonds husbands and wives (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 7:3)

   Here is Hebrews 13 "⁴Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." And 1 Corinthians 7 "³The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." I don’t see the part of "including emission of semen" in these verses.

9. It defrauds a wife of what belongs to her. Masturbation defrauds a wife of her husband’s body and sexual relations which belongs to her (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

   I agree again, and I think this is one of the reasons why we should learn how not to masturbate so much, and eventually leading to not masturbating at all, by getting rid of all lust and sexual bondages in our lives. If your masturbation deprives your wife of sexual intimacy then it is a problem and you need to get control of it. (Read Dangerous Men and it will show you how.)

10. It is lack of self-control. God commends self-control for singles and warns marrieds to engage in sexual relations with their wives because of their lack of self-control. (Galatians 5:23, 1 Corinthians 7:5) Masturbation, being sexual immorality and impurity deprives us of sanctification. (1 Thessalonians 4:3,7)

    Again, I totally agree about the lack of self control as an issue and another reason that masturbation is such a problem and wrong when used with out self control. But then jumping to the statement of the author that it is always “sexual immorality” therefore …. is the leap that I don’t take. Remove the lust, put back in the self-control and you again are faced with a different issue and conclusion.

11. It deprives a man of Holiness. Sanctification (holiness) involves abstaining from all sexual immorality. Masturbation, being sexual immorality and impurity deprives us of sanctification (1 Thessalonians 4:3,7)

    Again, logically only true if you have already made the conclusion that it is always immoral and not true if it is not. At this point I always wonder if it is so immoral why did God not state it in the Bible? Did he forget when listing all the other sexual sins? Do we think it just slipped His mind and now we have to help him out with this now? Anyway, lustful masturbation is immoral and is not holy (Jesus did talk about that) but the issue is the lust, not the masturbation.

12. It produces false intimacy. Masturbation can never provide true intimacy with God or, if married, our spouse. It is an act of selfishness that only produces false intimacy. (Genesis 2:24)

    I believe that it can produce false intimacy and this is not healthy but that alone does not make it a sin. It cannot provide true intimacy. This can be true with any act of selfishness, but probably no more than many other acts of selfishness. Buying a good bed that does not hurt your back, eating food that tastes good to us instead of other food or eating desert because it tastes good to us, or buying clothes that we like or shoes that cost more but they feel good to us, this also could be selfishness. The list could go on and on, are all these examples sinful selfishness?

13. It is a sin against one’s own body. Because masturbation is a form of sexual immorality and all sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18) therefore, masturbation is a sin against one’s own body.

    Again, declaring it sexual immorality is really extra Biblical … adding to the Bible. The logic again is only good if your presuppositions about it is that all masturbation is sinful, and of course, I think that masturbation without lust it is not sinful.

14. It can become our master. Masturbation can become an addictive practice and have mastery over us so that we cannot quit. We try to quit but fail repeatedly. We find ourselves in bondage to this addictive behavior and it becomes our master (1 Corinthians 6:12)

    Yes, this is one of the main issues with masturbation, the habitualness of our actions. This does make it a sin and that is why we need to get it under control. This does not mean that it is always sinful or “not the will of God”.

15. It keeps us “high” masturbation causes the flow of the brain chemical dopamine. The release of dopamine creates a “high” for the masturbator. Because of the progressive nature of sexual addiction, increased levels of masturbation are required to achieve the same dopamine “high.” Only the complete cessation of masturbation will allow the body’s dopamine levels to return to its normal range.

    This “high” is a natural high created by God to enjoy sexual experiences. Saying it is not the will of God to be “high” is a pushing it in my mind. Also the assumption that everyone who masturbates is a sexual addict or “progressive nature of sexual addiction” seems a little excessive. Then the statement that “only the complete cessations of masturbation will allow the body’s dopamine levels to return to its normal range.” So what is he saying, that it is only when the dopamine level is “normal” in our bodies that we are in the will of God? What about having sex with our wives during this time, what happens to the dopamine levels then? Is it therefore wrong to have a high dopamine level? What if you are having sex a lot with your wife, how about the dopamine levels then? It does not make much sense to me as a point to make it morally wrong.

Well that is it for his list … I hope you all had fun reading all about the different thoughts about masturbation. Please don’t misunderstand me, my intention here is not to put this pastor down. My intention here is to show that there are other ways to look and think about masturbation and we can disagree about it and be okay. We are still working for the same Lord and the same goal, sexual purity for the men of Christ. I want to foster conversation and debate about this issue. I love what he is doing in bringing this issue to the body of Christ is a big way to get men to deal with these sexual bondages and sins up front. We, the church, must deal with this issue head on and do it now because we have already lost this battle for our young men and our children. We need to take back the ground we have lost, so fight on!

Fighting Together,

Lowell